Thursday, July 23, 2009

And AGAIN I can't sleep

So I thought I would get a good night's sleep and I actually was tired and fell asleep around 7 or 7:30 pm. Up at 11:40. :::sigh::: Now it's 4:06 and I've diligently tried twice more to fall asleep in complete darkness and quiet to no avail.

Maybe I should just give in to it and become the night owl I've always been. It is easier over the summer when the kids don't have school. All of our schedules become backwards it seems. But honestly I'm getting a little old for this. I remember all-nighters on the yearbook in college, but come on, that was some time ago.

I have been thinking of another project. I am so incredibly 'project' oriented. For a while now, the girls and I have been talking about opening an Etsy shop. It's an online store that is affliated with ebay but there is no bidding or anything. You just sell your items but it is based on handmade and vintage kind of items.

Since I've recently become re-obsessed with crochet and trying to learn to knit again, I have a goal to open a new Etsy shop in September. For the past few weeks I've been trying to regain my "skills" at crocheting and have had a crochet hook in my hand for many hours a day. I really want to become professionally proficient and produce an excellent product. It takes practice.

Of course my other love is retro anything, especially clothing. I've found some wonderful, incredible vintage patterns for dresses that are gorgeous and I cannot wait to start sewing again. I used to sew almost all my clothes for a few years back in the early 80s, but it does take a lot of patience I learned at the time. My true desire is to design my own clothes. Tweak everything to make it my own. Discover my own style.

One of the things that mean the most to me is to leave to my children a legacy of creativity, courage to create and express themselves, believe in themselves no matter what anyone says to them. I was discouraged throughout my life by people who had no credentials to even give me an educated opinion and yet I was influenced, discouraged in fact, to follow what was truly in my heart.

It is amazing that even ONE off-handed comment by a inexperienced kid can so affect the self-esteem of someone that it can actually change the course of their life. I think most of us have experienced this to some degree.

But this is my changing point. I may have just turned 52, but in my heart I am still the 25 year old person I was (just with so very much more wisdom-thank you Lord). My body has changed and gotten older, but the desire to express my creativity has only grown. It is not too late to follow a creative dream. I am going to give it a try! : )

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